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Introduction

Thank you for allowing me to begin our time together on a purely personal level.  I share today not because I have a unique story or a success story, but as an adoptive mom who cares deeply about others and as an encouragement to you as an adoptive parent and potential leader.

 

I Was A Perfect Parent

I’d like to start out with some thoughts from my husband regarding being a perfect parent.

The great thing about being young and inexperienced is that you know everything.  At least I did.  Before I had children I knew what every misbehaving kid needed.  Before children I had all the answers.  After children I don’t even remember the questions.  But it is not just the young and inexperienced who suffer from omniscience.  Experienced parents who believe that what worked for their kids will work for all kids cause greater pain.  And the parents of special needs kids, in my case kids with mental health challenges, feel that pain; sometimes from the disapproving looks of strangers, but many times from the comments of their own parents, family and friends.

 

I was a perfect parent… until I had children

 

By Jim McNaughton  B.S.  (B.arely S.ane)
(Style inspired by Dr. Seuss, only for parents)

 

Some children are brought home and sleep through the night

They are corrected according to the books

They don’t fight and they don’t bite

And fall in line with one stern look

The parents of these

Children that please

Sometimes take the credit

They write books and give others looks

When the others just don’t quite get it

 

But we are not the parents of these that please

Our children not only don’t get it

They study us intently to learn our faults and

Our buttons in hopes to upset it

 

They can weave a lie without batting an eye

They love the crowds all around

To yell “you’re hurting me” and “I can’t breathe”

Though you’re NOT and they CAN

(And YOU just want to LEAVE)

 

Try Love and Logic they say

It works the best

(Unless your kid has no

Cause and effect)

Put up a chart… Charge him for you to do his chores…

You just need to be firm… You just need to love more…

We know the answer… (Though we hardly know your kid…)

We think we know him much more than you ever did

 

So the next time you see my child and me

Struggling while we go through the store

Please lend us some of your compassion

 

Advice… We don’t need any more.


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